A hard time seeing grown ups in office

I’m a grown man. My mother points that out to me when she catches me doing something she regards as ridiculo — ridiculous — such as cursing at the referee on television who clearly blew the offside call in the Xolos latest display of mediocrity.

Of course, the next time I see her she’ll remind me that I and my brother will always be her babies. So … yeah. Mixed messages anyone?

Nonetheless, as a grown man I think it’s acceptable to want to admire people, emulate them. Neighbors who demonstrate a particularly green thumb, friends who play instruments with the same ease as breathing, colleagues who run a hectic household but still regularly bring baked goods to work, and strangers who devote their time to making the lives of strangers better.

As a grown man I don’t have heroes. I recognize that behind masks, under capes and outside of the movies, the people we would burden with that label are, after all, human. Fallible people who live and die as I do.

However, I don’t think it is unreasonable to want to have leaders, elected representatives, who inspire us through their actions and words and prompt us to want to be better. Or at least not question how low they can go.

Recently the president of the United States referred to a woman who was suing him as “horse face.”

It’s not the first time Donald Trump ridiculed, mocked and insulted a woman. In all likelihood it won’t be the last. And it also probably won’t be the last time the president of the United States acts in a way that degrades the office and makes one wonder if he is a “grown man.”

Also this week, former congressman and patriarch of the Hunter clan, Duncan Hunter Sr., held a public “security briefing” attacking his son’s political opponent for being the grandson of a terrorist.

Ammar Campa-Najjar is an American of Latino and Arab descent. His grandfather was a leader in the Palestinian party but died years before his grandson was born.
Sitting congressman Duncan Hunter the junior is under federal indictment for misuse of campaign funds. He blames his wife for inappropriately spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on personal expenses and family vacations. He, too, has cast aspersions on Campa-Najjar, suggesting his opponent is working to infiltrate Congress on behalf of a shadowy entity. To critics the ad was a dog whistle to Islampahobes.

In National City a councilman seemingly retaliated against a colleague by accusing her of sexual harassment after she called for an investigation exploring if he received preferential treatment after being cited for multiple building code violations. When a lawyer became involved the aggrieved councilman dropped his claim without explanation. An investigator took that to mean the councilman made up the allegations.

Undoubtedly there are leaders out there worth admiration and emulation. It’s just hard to keep sight of them when the garbage surrounding them is so loud and ugly.