Tinseltown, tonic and entertainment

Of all the reasons to avoid a movie theatre, the sale of alcohol seems like one of the least compelling.

Twenty minutes before the start of the featured attraction viewers are bombarded with commercials—the very things from which movies used to be an escape— and promotions of expensive cars, better lifestyles and all things shiny and happy. After that the reel of coming attractions flickers across the screen long enough so that the matinee becomes the twilight showing of the 19th installment of a vampire/goblin romantic comedy featuring young hard-bodied thespians whose greatest acting accomplishment is convincing audiences they have talent.

If part of the escapist affair includes enjoying a small, hot-tubbed sized bucket of popcorn with butter flavoring, a small cistern of pop and a side of candy you’ll probably crash back to reality when the cashier asks for $30 to cover your meal—or up-sell you to the medium sized package for only $5 more.

Given that the darkened auditoriums of movie houses are already mini closets of simmering chaos, the fear that selling beer, wine or liquor will contribute to the decaying of civilized living seems quaint and misplaced.

Gabbing besties on their cell phones, ethereal glows from text messaging lovers, snarky remarks from Twittering critics, fussy babies, coughing lunatics, the aroma of smuggled in Kung Pao chicken and the nagging fear that Aurora, Colorado might happen again — you want to experience the magic of all this sober?

Even the argument that movies are a gathering place for children and children shouldn’t be in the vicinity of spirits because they are wicked feels self-righteously misguided and hypocritical.

Are the adults who don’t feel comfortable with kids and drink in the same venue also uncomfortable with minors at family weddings, Thanksgiving meals, Chargers games, and Copley Symphony Hall? Or are those forms of entertainment, mixed with the possibility of adults drinking alcohol, somehow different because the lights are on and people might be watching?

The experience of going to the movies has changed dramatically from the days of silent films. Going to the movies used to be an event, a special occasion for those lucky enough to afford the luxury. Now it’s just another option for killing a couple hours at night or on the weekend. An over-priced spirit or two shared in a public space hardly seems much different than enjoying beer and pizza at a restaurant that also has video games.

Of course, given that technology and the Internet have made online streaming and binge watching television shows and movie trilogies possible from the comforts of home and the couch, it might just be easier (and cheaper) to kick back with a six pack at home whether you’re 18 or 80.