Exasperation. Amusement. Pity.
If the five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance then my three stages of listening to bigots, homophobes and the prejudiced are exasperation, amusement then pity.
Recently a man from Torrance, California acted as the frontman for a band of Chula Vista residents who are opposed to a drag queen reading stories to children at a local library. Why they needed to enlist the aid of someone from outside the area to hold a press conference expressing their displeasure is a mystery to me but the proxy protest did, in part, contribute to my exasperation. Why not speak up for yourself rather than have someone else do it?
Another source of exasperation comes from a rising volume, sometimes accompanied by globs of spittle from an increasingly red and contorted face. It’s as if they believe the louder they say words, the more sense they will make and succeed in persuading a listener of the merits of their position.
No, that’s not how reasonable adults engage.
For example, a ninny telling me that drag queens reading to children endangers the moral well being of children and is an attack on families, their volume does nothing to convince me. In fact, the louder they yell the more my mind wanders to the question of affordable mental health care.
Amusement is achieved when I can get beyond the blasted ear drums and consider claims on their face. That a child could be harmed by having a member of the gay, lesbian, transgender or queer community reading to them is absurdly laughable. Childhood obesity, malnutrition, poverty and mad men with guns on campus are dangers to children. Someone dressed spectacularly flamboyant about inclusivity and acceptance is harmful?—ha! get out of here with that nonsense.
The laughter slowly gives way to pity.
When I stop to consider that perhaps these people are angry because they are fearful their world is changing it saddens me.
We evolved when we finally saw slaves as people not property.
We evolved when we recognized that women have a right to vote.
We evolved when we realized that same-sex marriage is not detrimental to a strong, vibrant society and it, in fact, was yet another opportunity for the expression of love.
This country and our communities evolve and flourish when we recognize that all people have the right to live freely.
The evolution, at times, is slow and incremental but it is inevitable. And that, perhaps, frightens those who will not accept the change and choose instead to remain mired in their old ways of thinking. And so, burdened by anger they yell. And hate. And lash out and protest at a world that is passing them by.
I pity them.
