September is Happy Cat Month according to the CATalyst Council, a conglomeration of veterinarians, cat enthusiasts and commercial entities. My question to these cat experts: Do you even really know cats?
I know cats. Grew up with them. Most members of my immediate family own one. At this time I don’t but it’s only because the cats in my life have wandered into my life, eaten a few morsels of food and never left. I never went looking for the felines, the felines came and found me. It is that fact that serves as the basis of my hypothesis: Cats can’t be happy. They are opportunists. And, quite frankly, they transcend that mundane fleeting emotion known as happiness.
They exist on a higher spiritual plane than most domesticated animals and would not demean themselves in experiencing that same impermanent emotion experienced by us and … dogs.
You might offer a cat’s purr as evidence of a cat’s happiness. You’d be wrong.
Yes, they make the sound of a tiny John Deere riding mower when scratched just so on top of their head, or when they have claimed their space on your lap, immobilizing you just as you were getting up to go to the bathroom. But cats also purr during times of distress or anxiety.
I’ve pet purring cats until they are almost in a trance only to have them suddenly scratch me for having the nerve to scratch them too long, too hard, too softly or too loudly. (That’s the thing about cats, they’re not generally good communicators and it’s hard to know exactly what offense you have committed unless you keep a log of your interactions with them.)
I’ve had purring cats sitting on my chest swat my chin without provocation as I fade into a light slumber, though perhaps my crime was sighing without authorization.
You tell me, would any beast act in such a manner if they were truly happy? No. Cats don’t do happy.
They are animals that live in the moment, like zen masters and rambunctious teens on summer break. They are not bound by emotions as simple and limited as happiness.
Canines, on the other hand, are simpler animals and have an abundance of that emotion.
When they are happy to see you, dogs wag their tails. When they get a good belly rub, they thump it against the floor. Have a tennis ball in you hand? A dog will dance in circles until it’s thrown so it can be retrieved for hours on end. Travelling at a moderate speed down the street, a dog will stick its head out the window and say hello to everyone and every thing it passes. When was the last time you saw a cat do any of that?
The idea of a happy cat is a misnomer. They exist only to be in the now and to satiate their needs and desires. They are here to help us. To give us a sense of usefulness and purpose as we strive to make them happy. Perhaps we should call September Happy Cat-Owner Month.
