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It's best to move a loved one now Jenny Wallis | Sat, Dec 07 2013 12:00 PM

Dear Jenny,

I want to wait until after the holidays before moving my mom into a community so that she can spend the holidays at home with us. Is that a good idea?

Well actually, that is not such a good idea. Why you ask, well consider this: You are in your home of 60 years and the holidays are here! Your daughter has been telling you about this great place you are going to move to “after the holidays.” So now you have plenty of time to sit in your home and look around and remember all the holidays of past, to think about how much you are going to miss it and you are going to go to a place where you don’t know anyone.

But wait, the kids are here and the family is around so hey, you can be distracted! Oh but now the holidays are over, you have said goodbye to your home with memories of the recent family gathering and you are in the lovely new room in your new community.

You have some small memories around and you need to go eat but you are not sure where you are going, or who you are sitting with, but hey that nice lady who works there should be around somewhere… you know your daughter will call soon but she already took time off from work so you know she’s probably busy. And the grandkids… no wait now they are back at school. So how can we solve this disastrous mix of sadness and depression?

Well now imagine this instead: You come into your new home and lots of fun is brewing, there are holiday parties, things to invite the grandkids to to enjoy, and lots of family around to help you set up your new place. You are meeting new people, getting to know the new place and you can still go out and join the family for all the regular holiday traditions that make this time of year great. You are meeting new friends to talk about past holiday traditions, the staff are all happy and bustling to make the time fun and joyous and you can even invite your daughter from out of town to see your new home since she is here for the holidays. Now when the holidays are over, you are still a little sad. The kids are back at work, grandkids back at school. But at least you know Martha is there and you are glad you have a friend now at your new home. You know that you can find Tom sitting in the activity room and he is always up for a chat. And you think, well now the holidays are over… but at least I’m not sitting home alone and I have a new beginning with new friends.

With all of this said, moving mom in before the holidays can make the transition into an assisted living much easier and less stressful and overwhelming for both you and your mom. Yes, everyone will be around to care for her no matter what, but the emotional toll that a move after the holidays can take can be devastating. If you’re looking into assisted living for a loved one, move them in now so they can get settled in for the best experience he or she can have. And helping mom emotionally also helps her stay healthy!

If you have questions about senior care or helping an elderly loved one, contact Jenny Wallis, Community Marketing Director at Villa Bonita Senior Living at (619) 476-9444 or by e-mail at villabonitamkg2@islllc.com

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