Study for draft day

A petition to oust Canadian pop-throb Justin Bieber from the United States has made its way to the White House.
Calls for the 19-year-old’s deportation stem from his recent and repeated run-ins with law enforcement and the perceived threat he is to the American Way. As CNN reports by quoting Entertainment Weekly which published an excerpt from the petition: “He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations (sic) youth.” So far more than 193,000 people agreed with that assessment and have signed the request to oust Biebs.

I’ve often thought we the people should consider spearheading an international trade and draft. Maybe it would behoove this country to follow the sports world’s lead and trade people in order to improve the home team.
How many Peruvian doctors do you think could be had if, say, Chula Vista was willing to trade two school board members, a council person and a journalist? One? Two (but only if you throw in a year’s supply of Neiderfrank’s ice cream)?

The move would not be a permanent one. Make it, perhaps, between 18 months and two years that way both individuals and countries can determine if they are better off with or without each other.
Not everyone would be eligible for the draft. Only those who fail the biannual citizenship test would have their names placed in the Energy Drink Cup of Eligibility.

The test, in part, can be based on the one that’s administered to people who want to become United States citizens. The Chula Vista library offers classes to those who want to call themselves Americans so already some of the infrastructure is in place.

Some of the questions from the current quiz: What do we call the first 10 amendments to the Constitution? How many amendments does the Constitution have? We elect a U.S. Senator for how many years?

Of course, the draft test should include a separate assessment that gauges not just our civic prowess but our American-ness. Points can be allotted on a sliding scale, thus the higher (or lower) the number you earn the more American you are and the greater value you add to this country. Reach a certain score and your name is not placed into The Cup.

For example a point might be awarded for each pictureless book a person reads in a year while a point would be subtracted for the number of selflies or Facebook fights in which they engage.

Sure I have my idea of which segment of the population is more valuable than the other but I’m willing to let society and the electorate decide which attributes it values — literate and articulate or self promoting  geniosity. Having the freedom to choose — it doesn’t get more American than that.